Magazine Monday: パチンコ必勝ガイド

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I bought Pachinko Hissho Guide in Japan last autumn because of its cover. I didn’t realize until later that it’s a pachinko magazine, apparently first published in 1988. I’ve never tried pachinko, and none of my Japanese friends do it. But the cover is amazing. Just as bustling as the pachinko parlours, like this one in Sendai:

Pachinko parlour in Sendai, Japan. Photo by Karl Andersson.

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The content too is a rush of light and color, just what you need in the autumn. Various pachinko machines are explained in a mix of editorial content and ads. The ads that are not pachinko-related are for penis enlargement, prostitution and – quite sweet – cat cafés.

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  • 必殺仕事人 = deadly working men (contract killers?), a Japanese drama from 1979 that had a remake in 2014
  • お祭りわっしょい = Festival, yippie!
  • ST & 通常時 = ST (?) & normal hours (ST = special time?)
  • 演出数値 = performance value? (something pachinko specific, according to my tandem partner)
  • 100連発!! = 100 gunfire/bombardment (jackpot?)

全国導入されて間もない『お祭りわっしょい』の重要アクションを早くも丸裸に!

The nationwide introduced important action “Festival, yippie” quickly becomes naked (?!) (explained in a way that leaves nothing uncovered = naked?)

決して消えることのない演出数値のスターマイン100連発を、とくとご堪能あれ!

There’s definitely no way to avoid accomplishing the performance value of the starmine’s 100 gunfire! (?)

プレミアム演出紹介もやってるよ〜!

We also offer a premium performance introduction!

There’s a website too:

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This is an ad for Hills Tower Clinic, a “male clinic” which offers various penis enlargements. My tandem partner explained that the guy on the photo is famous AV actor Taka Katou (加藤鷹), who according to wikipedia has a 17 cm long penis when erect. The offer in the middle is for extending the length of the penis by 3 to 8 cm (!), which costs 150,000 yen (currently 1,042 euro).

Six points explain the advantages of the clinic:

  1. It’s a male clinic and the staff is all male.
  2. Phone and email consultation, as well as counseling, are all free of charge.
  3. By appointment only and private rooms protect your privacy.
  4. Examination and treatment are finished in one day, no need for a hospital stay.
  5. Before the treatment we will explain clearly about the appropriate costs.
  6. After the treatment we offer a thorough 24 hour “after care” free of charge.

A little manga featuring Mr Katou explains the four steps to a longer penis:

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  1. 無料電話相談 Free phone consultation
  2. 予約・来院 Appointment, visit the clinic
  3. 無料カウンセリング Free counseling
  4. 施術治療 Surgery treatment

There are 10 Hills Tower Clinics, you can visit them here. The three words in their slogan or motto is 安心、安全、満足 = peace of mind, safety, satisfaction.

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最大60分無料

Up to 60 minutes for free

人妻専用2ショットダイヤル

Wives exclusive use 2 shot dial (?)

近くの人妻とデキる

Meet nearby wives

夫に隠れて変態三昧…

They are hiding from their husbands …

気品溢れる痴女妻で癒される夢のようなプレイ。

These slutty wives are flowing over with elegance and will fulfill your dreams.

According to my tandem partner, both the sex line and the male clinic may be enterprises run by the yakuza.

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